That time of year

We just passed a pretty important benchmark here in JET world - the 6 month point! Which means that I am just over halfway through my time in Japan - eeek! But it is an important time for another reason - early February is when JETs have to decide whether or not to recontract and stay in Japan for another year. It is a REALLY difficult decision for a lot of people, especially because it comes only half-way through the contract, during the coldest time of the year, and right about when culture shock can be at its worst. A lot of my friends here have been agonizing over the decision for the past few weeks, and the big question has been "You gonna stay or go?"

For me, it was simple - I had always planned on staying only a year. Of course I knew I might change my mind once I got here and end up staying longer, but that didn't happen, and I feel really comfortable with my decision to go. I'm actually one of the rare ones! Most people on the program stay at least 2 years, sometimes 3 or 4. The main reason I am not staying is pretty simple - I just don't really enjoy teaching here. I miss having my own classroom, speaking the same language as my students, and being able to communicate with my colleages. I also miss teaching Social Studies - language is just not my thing! But mostly, I miss the bond that is formed with the students - that just doesn't happen to the same degree here, and it is that part of teaching that really makes it worth it for me. While I have learned a LOT from being is this position, I spend far too much time daydreaming about what I want to do once I am back teaching stateside again.

Of course, I do my best to also remember the stress and other bullshit that comes along with teaching in the US, just so I don't have unrealistic expectations for when I return! That's one factor that makes it a little hard to leave - this is the lowest stress teaching job I will ever have! I get paid a full salary for a half-load of classes. Not to mention a round trip ticket, subsidized apartment, and tons of time off. We really do have a sweet set up here. Right now I have time to do all the things I always wish I could do when life gets busy - reading, cooking, writing, being lazy, etc. It is great actually, but not enough to keep me here. One thing I realized about myself from being on JET is that stress levels aside, I am truly happiest when I have a fulfilling job. And as stressful as it was, I felt much more fulfilled when I was teaching back home.

But that is one of the major differences between myself and most of the other JETs - I actually have a career to go back to. Most people are fresh out of university, and have no particular career path figured out yet. Actually, a lot stay in Japan simply because they have no idea what they want to do when they go back home!

Another reason for leaving -- my life has now been in "temporary" status for 2.5 years - teaching in Korea, traveling in Southeast Asia, short time back home, then teaching here. I love the traveling and living abroad, but it wears on me. I guess I was not meant to be a nomad, and lately I find myself craving a feeling of permanency. I'm not saying that I'm really to trade by backpack for a white picket fence and 2.5 kids, but I am pretty much ready to put down at least a few roots. (Not deep ones though, I know the travel bug will never fully leave me!)

Actually, I started to get second thoughts about leaving - while I was in Sapporo of all places! Something about the big city...lots to do...great subway system...beautiful snow...NOT having to work, hee hee, it just reminded me why I love being abroad in the first place, and pulled me out of my recent slump. I guess you could say that being in Sapporo made me like Japan again! Not that I don't like where I live, but if I had my choice, I'd be in a bigger city rather than the countryside.

And then I started thinking about the fact that I still haven't seen half of what I want to see in Japan. But I think you could live here for years and never really be satisfied, there is just an incredible amount to do and see here. But I still have 6 months, and I will squeeze in what I can. (The next two trips being the Nagoya Penis Festival and Hiroshima, hopefully!)

In the end, I keep coming back to the advice that helped my friend Micah make his final decision to leave - life is best lived by following your heart. And I know that being an assistant English teacher in the Japanese countryside is not where my heart really wants to be. It has been (and will continue to be, I hope) a fantastic experience, but a year is enough.

Damn, I sound like I am leaving tomorrow. But I'll do my best to make the most of the 5.5 months!

And just for fun, two completely random but neat photos!

A giant spider eating a butterfly, isn't nature cool?!?! I took this right outside my apartment. These enourmous spiders are everywhere in the summer. I personally don't mind them - they are really pretty actually, but they are a nightmare for anyone with even a twinge of arachnaphobia. And the butterflies.

At a festival back in October, there was a tub full of live eels. At first we all thought that was pretty cool, until we realized that Squeeze the Eels had become a very popular game with all the kids, and right next to the tub was a stall selling cookedうなぎ　(unagi, aka eel).