I'm Not Dead Yet!

Yesterday was our regional meeting for the local area JETs, where all of us from the surrounding cities get together and talk about this and that. At the end, there was an info session non-recontracting JETs - meaning, those of us that are leaving Japan in August. They talked about flights home, cleaning your apartment, getting a pension refund, that sort of stuff, and it was all very useful, but it has left me with this really, really annoying feeling.

I feel like that person in the plague scene of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, who is being carted away to the cemetary, even though he is actually still alive. As they take him away, he lifts up his head and says, "But, I'm not dead yet!"

All this talk about leaving is really driving me bonkers! Literally, for the past month, we have been bombarded with emails and flyers in our mailboxes about "Preparing for the Return Home." But when it all started, we still had a good 3 months to go. I found myself thinking, "oh, maybe I should start cleaning out my apartment this weekend," and getting strategic on how much stuff I bought so I wouldn't have too much to bring home, and worrying about good-bye gifts and such. The JET program encourages us to start doing all this stuff 3 months before we are actually leaving. For someone like me that only stays a year, 3 months is one quarter of my entire time here. That is a good chuck of time! It should be the time when I am doing all I can to enjoy my remaining time in Japan, not obsessing over my impending departure.

I understand that they do it to help minmize our stress during our past few weeks here, and also because most participants are new to this whole living abroad thing, and really DO need to start preparing 3 months ahead of time. But I don't! I hate it - I feel like I have one foot in Japan and one foot in the US, and I'm not able to fully enjoy either.

I'm not leaving yet damnit!

By the way, it is looking like August 11 might be my return date!