Strangers in a Strange Land

The strangest thing happened to me tonight. Something so out of the ordinary that I actually have to write a blog about it.

I was at my neighborhood grocery store, I saw two other foreigners shopping. Nothing out of the ordinary there; as there are a number of foreigners living around here. No, the strange part was -- they made eye contact. And they smiled at me. And then...(here's the weird part)...they started a conversation! Can you believe that??

At this point those of you outside of Korea are wondering if I've gone off my rocker. But those of you IN Korea know exactly what I am talking about -- foreigners in Korea generally aren't all that friendly to each other. And I'm not talking about the people that work together or those that end up in the same social circles -- I am talking about foreigners that pass each other on the streets or encounter each other around town. I would say that about 60-70% of the time, the foreigners I pass will not even make eye contact, and if they do, its minimal. Readily starting a conversation, well, that's just downright rare. I'm not the only one that's noticed this either, it's kind of an understood thing.

The worst are the models. There are a lot of them living in my 'hood, from Russia and North America. You always know which ones they are -- the uber cool, tall and gaunt trendsters that don't even look like real people. They never make eye contact, let alone give a nod or say hello. But the rest, the teachers, the business people, they really aren't too much better. They will breeze past and sometimes give a half nod if your lucky. Some even have a glimmer of guilt in their eyes as they lift their chin in your direction.

So why is this? In every other country I have been to, fellow foreigners flock to each other and bond readily, becoming like old pals in a matter of hours. In fact, that's half the fun of traveling -- meeting people from all over that are visiting the same place you are. But here, I get the feeling that a lot of foreigners make a deliberate effort to avoid other foreigners. Like it is shameful for them to be seen associating with their own kind.

Is it the difference between living in a place and traveling in a place? I suppose that when you travel, its natural to seek out anyone familiar that may provide support, information or companionship. But living in a place is a different story -- people have their niche and their circle of friends, so they have no reason to go out of their way to meet anyone. It's like being at home -- you don't make an effort to be friendly to everyone you come across in your home country do you? Because you don't need to.

And I also think that many foreigners here are proud of the fact that they are living in another country and can successfully integrate themselves into a strange culture. So to seek out others from their own culture would be like a cop-out. They want the FULL Korean experience, and the didn't move halfway around the world to hang out with people they could meet back at home. Ok, so they may have foreign friends, but they definitely don't want to make a deliberate effort to meet more. There's something to be said for that. But I still find it odd that many can't even be bothered to give a nod or a smile to that one other person on the subway who clearly is not from these parts. It just doesn't feel right.

So at this point, I know a lot of people in Korea would say, "But I don't want to meet other foreigners because most of the foreigners here are LAME." Ok, fair enough. I can't argue too much with that. And I won't even go into it, just trust me when I say -- the population here of of foreigners here leaves lot to be desired. But that doesn't mean there are plenty of decent folks to meet. As for me, I won't fall over myself trying, but I will never put myself above meeting others who are also strangers in a strange land.

Maybe now you can see why I was so pleasantly surprised tonight. The couple I met, Chris and Andrea, live one street over from me, and not only were they friendly, but they even invited me to come over for dinner. We exchanged numbers, and I fully intend to call them. I may be here for a Korean experience, but I will not pass up any people who are cool.