Roller Coaster!!!

For you roller coaster lovers out there, if you really want a thrill ride of ups and downs, you should forget the amusement park, and try living aboard. I swear it is the craziest roller coaster you will ever find.

I am happy to say that currently I am on an upswing. I love Japan! I love Japanese people, I love Japanese food, I love my apartment, I even sort of love my school. I even feel like the Japanese language might *not* be entirely impossible to learn! Wow!

And just last week, I was hating this place. When I left my apartment, I was annoyed at the fact that everyone was Japanese. I was annoyed that they were all STILL SPEAKING JAPANESE. Every time I heard someone go Yada! or Sumimasen! I wanted to scream. I felt like I would never fit in here, and I didn't want to. I had given up completely on ever learning Japanese, I left work feeling like crap, and was counting the days until I got to leave.

Sounds shitty, huh? But the roller coaster always goes back up again.

Actually, they have done studies on this stuff, and 3-4 months is the lowest point for most people. When you first live in a foreign country, everything is new and exciting, but then all that becomes common place. That is when the annoyance sets in. And that part isn't fun, let me tell you! You start hating the place, resenting the differences, and it's really easy to get depressed. I went through that in Korea, so I was prepared for it when I came to Japan. But it's funny, in the midst of my lowest "Japan sucks" time, even though I knew full well from prior experience that things would get better, I still had a really hard time believing it.

But it happened. I love Japan again. I expect I'll go through another low phase before leaving though. For though, let me just say that this place is the best!

I only have 5 months left in Japan. When I was at a low point, 6 months felt like an absolute eternity. And now, 5 months is not nearly long enough! If I had to make my re-contracting decision now, I might have chosen to stay. (Or perhaps I only say that now because it is the weekend, ask me again after I leave work on Monday!) But do you get the point? It is friggin roller coaster!

Right now, I'm just doing my best to enjoy Japan before I leave; soaking in every last bit of Japanese-ness that I can. Ok, well not exactly - I'm NOT watching anime and I'm NOT clipping my fingernails in the teachers' room. But, I AM digging on the fact that I actually get the recommended 7-8 servings of vegetables every day, not to mention that living in farmland means I eat the freshest, yummiest vegetables in the world. Instead of finding Japanese people annoying, right now I think they are cute and funny and tremendously nice. I'm appreciating the little stuff that makes Japan Japan, like taking off your shoes when you enter a room, getting a hot towel to clean your hands before meals, drinking copious amounts of green tea every day at work. I'm even loving the fact that I am a foreigner here, a unique person, something you have to experience firsthand to understand how it can be special and frustrating unlike anything else in the world.

I'm getting a kick out of the fact that people dress their dogs up in full outfits, or how teachers have pot leaf air fresheners hanging in their cars. 3 employees screaming Irrashaimasse! in high pitched nasally voices is actually rather charming at the moment, believe it or not. The heated toilet seats, drivers who let you pull in front of them when you need to turn into traffic, buses that run on time ... how could you NOT love living here? Tell me again why I am leaving?

What I come back to again and again while I ride this roller coaster of life abroad is this - in spite of all the ups and downs and the difficult decision of how many years to stay, in the end it boils down to one tremendous experience. Sure, getting through the low points was rough. And leaving will be even harder. Here is the ironic part - if I stayed, I would go through more low points where I hated Japan, and I would regret the fact that I didn't leave when I had the chance. Yet, when I leave, I will go through a totally different experience where I regret the fact that I didn't choose to stay. I will have to say goodbye to a ton of people I have grown to love and a life that I have gotten rather comfortable with. For the rest of my life, there will be things about Japan that I will miss. I will lament that fact that America does not have Karaoke, onsens or ridiculous game shows. For the rest of my life, every time I encounter something Japanese, I will feel that pang of nostalgia, which is sometimes strangely pleasant and sometimes indescribably painful. And there will be lots and lots of moments where I will wish that I was still living in Japan.

How do I know? Because that is what happened with Korea. I still can't watch Korea movies without getting terribly sad because they make me miss the place so damn much. Little flashes of Seoul come back to me now and then - the taste of the food, the sound of the subway, the unique smells, whatever. And don't even get me started on how much I miss my Korea friends! But I know that leaving was the right thing to do. Korea was a great place for year, and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. It is the same with Japan - My year on JET will take it's place alongside my year in Korea as AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE, but I still know that one year is enough. And I have to keep that in mind as these next 5 months wind down.

So that being said, I am happy to report that I have done a very good job this weekend of "soaking up Japan." Last night we went to the local izakaya (pub) and enjoyed simmered tofu, edamame, and fried potatoes dipped in sweet ketchup and mayo. I managed to have a very enjoyable and lengthy half Japanese-half English conversation with a 20 year old eye candy surfer boy who looked like he stepped straight out of a boy band video, but was as polite and humble as they come. And today, Caroline and I had the ultimate Saturday afternoon - 4 hours at the local onsen (public bath). We did it right too, loooong shower, loooong bath, and then chilling in the common resting room, drinking tea, eating sashimi and soba and watching Pokemon cartoons alongside all the local Japanese families. (Could have done without the Pokemon though!) I even treated myself to a massage, which felt fantastic. What a nice day, something you could never do in the US. If I was grading myself on how much I have enjoyed Japan so far this weekend, I would give myself an A+. Whoo! Maybe tomorrow I'll take up sumo wrestling!

And just for the record, I SWEAR that I started this blog entry with the intention of only writing a few short paragraphs. I just have too much to say.